Untitled.

"You shut your mouth
How can you say
I go about things the wrong way
I am Human and I need to be loved
Just like everybody else does."

- The Smiths

Last night was a terrible night. Started good, middle was wretched, ended descent. Basically, what I feared would happened, happened. Only far worse then I thought possible. I knew he would be mad, but I truly believed he was done making me stupid. I know he says terrible things. But I did not see him being so harsh to make his point. I do not understand why he seems to hate me so much. I know that he is trying to do his best. But from what I have observed about his behaviour compared to the way it is "supposed" to be, it is unbelievable the differences that I see.

I'm so tired of always doing things wrong, and never pleasing him. I thought she was hard to please. I thought she was my enemy. Everyday I spend here I am beginning to see that they are really not all that different. What I was trying to escape, I have found it here. Only it is in a different form.

The Smiths.

"Last night I dreamt
That somebody loved me
No hope, no harm
Just another false alarm

Last night I felt
Real arms around me
No hope, no harm
Just another false alarm"

- The Smiths.

Why do I feel so alone? All I want is some security. To love and be loved in return. When the day comes that I truly feel that I have found what I am looking for, I will be immensely happy. No words can describe the longing in the pit of my stomach. There is nothing that I desire more then to bring another person happiness, security and to love that person with all my heart till the end of my days.