Friday, November 14, 2008

jealousy.

Why do I get so ridiculously jealous? It is crazy! I become so jealous at the slightest of things. My jealousy irritates me. When I become jealous, I can feel my stomach flip, my face warms up and I almost cry. It's almost like I am jealous and angry at the same time. It really bothers me. My jealousy is so great that sometimes I become angry at the person I feel the jealousy towards. It does not matter who the person is, it could be an old friend. But when my jealousy takes over, it's like I hate them. It could last for a minute, hour or days. And, just as quickly my jealousy comes, it goes.

I do not understand. I get so protective of the things I care about. Whether its activities I like to do, or people that I care about, if another person becomes involved in said activities or becomes close to those people, the jealousy takes over.

Even if I have no logical reason to feel this way, it still overtakes me. My jealousy issues are something I really need to tend to. I need to be able to control my jealous, not let it control me.

1 comment:

Ashley said...

Let me completely honest with you: I think it's the Jaimes in us. I too am crazy jealous and protective when it comes to the people I love and who are close to me. This has been a big problem in my relationship too. I think another issue that goes hand-in-hand with jealousy is trust. Sometimes I think I have trust issues, which result in jealous feelings. I'm not sure how to help you deal with it or what to say exactly since I'm going through the same situation. The only thing I can say is that you're not alone. I feel for you and your situation. I hope that it gets better. One option that is worth exploring though is journal writing. As soon as you feel those jealous or protective emotions, try and write them down as soon as possible. This may not get rid of those feelings, but it may help you with the anger part. If you have a place to put those jealous feelings, then they're less likely to build up to anger. Because really, the people you're protective of and the people you love are the last ones you want to be angry with.

Love,
Ashley