Sunday, February 22, 2009

the cure.

Mmm. The Cure. Their haunting melodies make my heart melt. The perfect way to end a crazy weekend: Sitting under a blanket listening to my The Cure Station on Pandora Radio. Oh, how i enjoy these hauntingly peaceful sounds. I am content with my being.

I added a new piece of metal to my body. I do adore my ear cartilage ring. It has become a part of me.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

quite frankly.

I miss you. I care for you. I think about you often. I enjoy being near you. I have trouble sleeping at night because I can not get you off my mind. I wonder if you also think of me. I am crazy about you. I wish I knew how you feel about me. This not knowing for certain is driving me insane. I believe that you are absolutely amazing. I enjoy our little outings ever so much. Every moment I spend by your side is remarkable. I wish they could last forever. You bring a smile to my face every time I see you, think about you, hear about you and talk about you. I can not even say your name without smiling immensely. The sound of your voice is lovely. I could go on and on about how splendid you are.

Quite frankly, It comes down to this: I love you.

Now if only I could muster up the courage to say this to you.

Thursday, February 12, 2009


So give me something to believe
Cause I am living just to breath
And I need something more
To keep on breathing for
So give me something to believe

I am hiding from some beast
But the beast was always here
Watching without eyes
Because the beast is just my fear
That I am just nothing
Now its just what I've become
What am I waiting for
Its already done

"Believe" by the Bravery.

This song portrays how I have been feeling as of late. I long to find something to live for. I want to be able to feel safe and secure in my relationships.

I want to know how it is that you feel. I know what I am feeling is real. I love you, and that terrifies me deeply. I am petrified of loosing you. The thought makes me cringe and the tears flow from my eyes. I want to spend the rest of my days with you. I would spend every moment by your side if I was able to do so. I want to bring you happiness.

My Dear, I love you. I am terrified. I do not know how you feel. I am all together frightened of revealing my feeling to you, for fear of rejection.

I want our love to be the "something to believe in." I never want to be without you.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009


Everything about you makes me smile. Your quirky sense of humor, your eccentric mannerism, your goofy little smile that you try so hard to hide, everything makes me grin uncontrollably. The way you look when you are "mad" at me makes me want to giggle. You make me entirely happy. I am so happy to know you, and to have you in my life. You brighten my day immensely. I can not bare the thought of ever losing you. Yet, I can not dare to bring myself to say those words that linger at the corners of my mind, the tip of my tongue, the edge of my heart. 

I wish I was brave enough to tell you...everything.