its funny.

How easily we fall back into things. How that door that has been closed for months now always seems to be cracked open again and again. What are we doing? I'm unsure, but I do enjoy this game we play. Perhaps it will lead somewhere...perhaps..one day...

Its rather exciting. Its rather scary. Its rather...dangerous. And I love every moment of it.

Good day.

HELLO!! I am simply happy today. This has been an amazing weekend. I will not even begin to try and explain how lovely I am feeling. I have an amazing family, even though they annoy me at times. I have a roof over my head. A very nice roof at that, heh. I have the most amazing boyfriend in the whole wide world. I love him so much. And my God is good. So very good. He has blessed me in so many ways, and I am eternally grateful. I have an interview this evening at a store at the outlet mall, called Zumiez. I am extremely nervous about it. But I am trusting God, and I pray that I get this job.

Life is good.

Greetings from Harlingen.

Hello people of the Internet! I hope everyone is have a grand weekend and an equally grand summer full of exciting adventures.

At the moment, I am visiting my aunt Susan in Harlingen. Most of my cousins are also down here. It has been nice to get away, to roam around a different city then my own. I was hoping that we would be able to venture to the beach during my visit, but it seems that will not be happening. Oh, well. Though it was been quite relaxing. Swimming their pool, playing Rockband, and watching my younger cousins play Halo 3. Yes, it has been rather refreshing to be able to get away from good old San Marcos for a few days. I do love have been able to take this mini-vacation!

I wish I was able to stay here longer, but Life is busy and I must return to everyday adventures soon. It will be slightly difficult to get back into the old routine, but I do have little endeavours planned for the up coming week. As I stated in my last post, I am very determined to find a job. I have high goals for this summer and I plan on achieving them.

I do hope everyone is having a wonderful summer thus far.

Hello, July.

It is a new month. Which brings new adventures, new experiences, new mistakes, new lessons and all sorts of new memories to be made some good and some bad. I am all together excited to see what the month of July holds for me. Will it bring a job? Will I finally get everything done for school? And I am so anxious to see how my relationship with James will grow, I fall deeper in love with him each day. He really is such a blessing. I thank God for bringing him into my life.

Also, I have decided a few things. I am really going to take action, buckle down, and get some things taken care of. I am going to start eating healthier and shed some of these fatty pounds. I am going to work my butt off to find a job that pays better then babysitting (60 bucks a week, some times a bit more.) I need to get a job and start saving for an apartment. I will get out of this house by the end of the year. And with some determination and hard work, I know I can do it! I will do it. I have to. My sanity is at risk.

I welcome July with open arms and an open mind. I will embrace this month. I will work towards making my dreams come true. It starts now.

a wee update.

Wow, it seems like ages since I last posted. Hello people of the internet. I hope that all is going well for you, and if that is not so, then I do pray that things will begin to look up for you.

My life has been crazy busy these past few week, that is why I have been unable to update my blog. I have been babysitting my younger cousins. Oh man, they sure can be a handful. But I do  adore them so. When I am not babysitting, I spend some quality time with my wonderful boyfriend James. Also, I squeeze time in for friends. And of course, I try to find time to read, take photographs, and write. It seems that so much has happened, and yet I do not know what all to put in this post. 

Basically, it goes something like this....graduations, graduations, GRADUATIONS...and babies. 

So many of my friends are graduating this year. It is insane, but so very fun. I do love seeing every one's hard work finally paying off.

Also, I have managed to injure my ankle. I pulled a ligament. (I heard it pop when it happened, gross.) I am in pain, and it is not fun at all. But I should be just fine. Knowing me, it came about in the lamest of ways. I tripped down a stair. Not stairs, but just a single stair. Oh dear, I am a clumsy one.

Anyways, that is all I have to share with you at the moment. Things are moving right along. I am happy. I am having adventures. I am deeply in love with James.

I love Life.

babysitting days.

Well at the moment I am babysitting my little three-year old cousin Kayla. She is happily watching Max & Ruby on Nick Jr. She is a silly little thing; I do enjoying taking care of her. She can be quite a handful at times. But are not all young children a joyful pain. Chuckle. I do love her so. It is interesting watching her and her little mannerisms. She is a unique girl. She enjoys playing with her Easter eggs more then the candy that was in them. Which was no doubt eaten by her parents or older brother. Aw, Kayla is so very tired, but she persists to fight off her sleep as long as possible. I wish she would take a nap. She so desperately needs one.

On another note, the screen on my phone is all messed up. I can not see anything. It is such a nuisance. I am unable to see text messages. Oh well, hopefully, my replacement phone will be in Wednesday. Then my life will go back to "normal." I find it sad how my life is slightly annoyed by the loss of my cell phone's screen. I think these next couple days without a screen will be good for me. I do not need to use it all the time. Though it makes connecting with my family and friends difficulty. I will be happy to have a working phone again, but in the mean time, I will make the best of this situation.

quite frankly.

I miss you. I care for you. I think about you often. I enjoy being near you. I have trouble sleeping at night because I can not get you off my mind. I wonder if you also think of me. I am crazy about you. I wish I knew how you feel about me. This not knowing for certain is driving me insane. I believe that you are absolutely amazing. I enjoy our little outings ever so much. Every moment I spend by your side is remarkable. I wish they could last forever. You bring a smile to my face every time I see you, think about you, hear about you and talk about you. I can not even say your name without smiling immensely. The sound of your voice is lovely. I could go on and on about how splendid you are.

Quite frankly, It comes down to this: I love you.

Now if only I could muster up the courage to say this to you.

everything.

Everything about you makes me smile. Your quirky sense of humor, your eccentric mannerism, your goofy little smile that you try so hard to hide, everything makes me grin uncontrollably. The way you look when you are "mad" at me makes me want to giggle. You make me entirely happy. I am so happy to know you, and to have you in my life. You brighten my day immensely. I can not bare the thought of ever losing you. Yet, I can not dare to bring myself to say those words that linger at the corners of my mind, the tip of my tongue, the edge of my heart. 

I wish I was brave enough to tell you...everything.

choices.

I have a tough desicion to make. I have to make it quite soon. I wish I did not have to do this. Alas, I have only brought this upon myself. Why must life be so complicated? I long to return to a simplier time, but that is only wishful thinking. Both sides of this choice have grand and not so grand aspects. Then again, is not that how it normally is. I should feel worse about this, shouldn't I? But I do not. I feel marvelous. I am an odd one. I hope that in the end the choice I make will be worth while. 

Oh, my my my. How my body aches! I am very tired. I would like to nap, but the more I sleep the more my body aches. Damn. 

new year.

Well it's a whole new year. At the moment, I do not feel much like writing. My dear hamster, Bartholomew, is missing. Last night he escaped his cage. Now he is loose in the house. I can not find him anywhere. I think he might be asleep somewhere. I pray that he is safe.

Later, when I feel a little better about this ordeal, I will write a much more informant post. I still have not written my New Year's Resolutions. This will be the first year I make some, and I do plan on trying my hardest to keep them. I do believe this will be a grand challenge for myself. Once I have written them down, I will post them here. My reason for this is to have some sort of "accountability." Even if no one reads them, even if no one really cares about what I am doing, knowing that I have posted them here for the world to see will help me have the drive to accomplish them.

People of the world, I do hope that all of  you had a safe and happy New Year. Also, I pray that you all will have wonderful adventures, learn from your mistakes, live on a prayer, and keep your resolutions.

its the most wonderful time...

...of the year!!

Ah, Christmas is a week from today. I can hardly believe it. Today, my dear friend Amanda and I headed to the Outlet Mall to get some last minute shopping done. By the time Amanda arrived at the Mall, I had bought all my gifts. Unfortunately, Amanda was present while I was purchasing her gift. Oh well, she will enjoy it anyway! Ha ha. It was a lovely day in my opinion. Overcast, grey, rainy and with a eerie fog about. It was delightful to walk about in. I am thoroughly pleased with the gifts I have bought for my friends and family. But, oh my!! Men are so hard to shop for. I still need to buy my papa and Willem's gifts. I have no idea what to get for them. I would cop-out for a tie, but Papa does not wear ties. He does not fit the "typical father" mold. Damn, sometimes I really wish he did. Willem on the other hand does not fit the "typical anything" mold. Oh, that boy. How I adore him. I am planing a trip to Half-price Books for tomorrow. Hopefully, I can find something for those men there. If not, then I will search Hastings. I have to find them something wonderful. Especially, Papa. He may not be the best father in the world, but he is my father. And having him around is all I ask for, and I am thankful to have him.

little things.

It was worth it.
It was definitely worth it.
It was so very worth it.
I could not ask for more.
Today was a grand day.
Today was much better then I could ever have imagined.


Love the simple things.
Love the little things.
They all add up.
In the end, the little things are what really matter.
In the end, the simple things are what mean the most.

Today was simple, yet absolutely marvelous.

December.

Its hard for me to believe that a new month is starting. Where did November go? I also find it hard to believe that another month of blogging has gone by. The experiences I had in November were extraordinary, and some I have yet to see how they will affect my life.

December is by far my favourite month of the year. I adore everything about this month. The cold weather. Sights and Sounds of Christmas, which is coming up this weekend. The hazy skies and the crisp clear skies. Christmas Day. I love spending time with the ones I love, and remembering that God has given us the greatest gift, His son Jesus Christ. I must admit, I do enjoy the giving and receiving of presents as well. New Year's Eve. I love this day. It allows me time to reflect on the past year, and everything it holds. And it makes me wonder, how I will change or remain the same in the coming year.

Yes, this month will be interesting in its own unique way. I am eagerly waiting the new trails and experiences it holds. I am also excited to share those events with you, the people of the world, my friends, my family, and whomever stumbles across this little blog.

crazy night.

Last night was intense. I had a fantastic time with some awesome friends. Good company. Good conversation. Good times. I made a new friend, I will not say anymore on that. Oh boy. Monique and I know how to have a good time. Though I am sorry that I kept her from sleep and left her alone with a sleeping Sean. Actually, I am not all that sorry, because it was worth it. Indeed. Besides, once I explained everything to her, she was fine with getting a few less hours of sleep. And she is proud of me which makes me giggle to myself.



I feel bad for anyone who reads this post. All of you are out of the loop, and it will remain that way for I do not see the need to give you all the details of last nights shenanigans.



All in all, last night was crazy, fun, and I would love to do it all again.

adventures of babysitting.

Tonight is my first night babysitting the Jaso children. They are pretty awesome. Christian is the oldest at nine years of age; he is very helpful to have around. Micah is the middle child at seven years; he is crazy but manageable. Then there is Jamie, the youngest at two years; she is adorable and loves to mimic Micah. The Jaso's live in a small town somewhat near my own. I had a little trouble finding their house in the night, but I managed to not become to lost. That fact is something I am proud of. 

I have to admit, though I know this family, I was nervous about tonight. So far my nervousness as been proven to be a silly thing. There were some small fights between the brothers, but nothing to alert the coastguard about. All of us watched Batman Beyond: The Return of the Joker on Cartoon Network. The film was nothing like the original Batman, but it had its good qualities. During the film, Jamie came and cuddled up against my arm. I found this rather adorable, but soon after she bit my arm. She did not hurt me, and I had to stifle my laughter. After biting me, she ran off to annoy Micah. 

Before the movie had ended Baby Jamie's bedtime came about, this is when the real fun began. Poor thing, she sounded as if being dress for bed was worse then burning at the stake. Although she was crying, she did not put up much of a fight. She allowed me to change her diaper and clothes with little effort, but she did cry. Her brother Micah accompanied her through the "terrible"  ordeal. She was asleep in no time at all. Silly little girl, all those tears wasted. Jamie is a silly girl, though I suppose all children dislike having to go to bed while the "grown ups" stay up. 

It was rather obvious around 9:30 that the boys were growing tired, but they fought it. At around ten their weariness was to great and they staggered off to bed. Even as I typed this I can hear Star Wars: The Clone Wars streaming from their room. Christian is still awake and trying to fight off sleep.

 I will end this post now and urge Christian to get some well needed sleep.

last night.

Monique and Tesia make a scene.
Quantum of Solace.
Random friends of a friend.
Every gas station closed.
Monique and Sean having to pee like pregnant women.
Finding an open gas station is like finding oil in the desert.
Cops in the parking lot.
Vacant field.
Cold nights.
Hot Boxin'.
Having the giggles.
"Is that my phone on fire?"
Pass it, pass it.
Divide it out.
"IS THAT A CAR COMING!?! oh wait, its that damn poster."
Good times with friends.
Eat M&M's.
Crash.

Best night of the month? Hell yeah.
Priceless, bitch.

oh the joys of life.

Well, today I went to my grandma's house to babysit. It was interesting. My mum was there for a bit which was helpful. We had to take care of Kayla, Elias and Darrin. My mum had to leave to take Kayla to speech therapy; I was left with Elias and Darrin. Evin was dropped off by the school bus. Evin helped me keep an eye on Elias. I believe that I did not put down Darrin for two hours, and I have a sore arm to prove it. The poor little guy was crying. I gave him a bottle which calmed him down while the bottle lasted. Then the crying began again. He burped and spit up, and did all the things babies do. I decided I would check his diaper that's when the real fun started. He had a messy diaper. I took it off and began to clean him. Only, he was not quite finish. Pee went everywhere! I covered him back up with the diaper just a tad to late. The bed and his clothes were wet. I asked him, "Darrin, you silly little guy, are you finished now?" To which he respond with a grin and a laugh. "Oh Darrin, you're lucky I love you," I laughed in reply.

As a nice surprise, my aunt Helen arrived to pick up Evin and Elias. I told her about my "adventure" with Darrin. She found it rather humours. After they left, Darrin was calm for a bit. He would not allow me to sit down. I carried him around the house. I heard a car door outside. Then Grandma and Grandpa came in! As much as I love my baby cousin, I was glad to see Grandma. I told her about Darrin, she also found it humorous.

And that is my story for the day. Quite an event. My shirt smelled of thrown up formula, and my arm is very sore. However, it was all worth it. Darrin is a joyful hand full, and I love him very much. Taking care of him today, gave me a small glimpse at what it will be like when I have my own children. I pray I will be a good mother.