Monday, January 26, 2009

what a surprise...

I'm doing it to myself again. I'm becoming depressed for no good reason. Just because I'm feeling a little lonely is no reason to act like my world is falling apart. I have tried so hard to not let this happen again. But, what a surprise! Its happening again.

I do not know what to write anymore. Thus, I shall end this post now. I have no motivation today.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009


I am excited! I am going to be just fine. I was scared for a little while. However, today I found out everything is going to be fine. I am determinded no to make the same mistake again. I have said the same thing in the past but this time, I am going to try my hardest. I do not want to live my life in fear and anxiety. I believe that goes against everything I have strived for. 

Well, I just wanted to make a small update into my world at the moment. I made a huge mistake and I was terrified of the outcome. Though, I have learned a valuable leason. For that I am greatful. Life is hard but I enjoy every moment that passes by. And I do try to live every moment to the fullest. I do not want to feel like I have wasted a beautiful day of this crazy life I live in this wonderous world we live in. Perhaps I sound much to happy, but in all honesty, what is wrong with being optimstic? I have live as a sad deppresed person for far too long! I truly believe the best medicine for my depessed state is to get out and LIVE! Go to the river! The park! Play! Laugh! To simply be happy! 

Hm, I guess that is all I have to say at the moment. WOW! I am so happy to be an imperfect human girl. I would not want it any other way. 

Monday, January 12, 2009


I have a tough desicion to make. I have to make it quite soon. I wish I did not have to do this. Alas, I have only brought this upon myself. Why must life be so complicated? I long to return to a simplier time, but that is only wishful thinking. Both sides of this choice have grand and not so grand aspects. Then again, is not that how it normally is. I should feel worse about this, shouldn't I? But I do not. I feel marvelous. I am an odd one. I hope that in the end the choice I make will be worth while. 

Oh, my my my. How my body aches! I am very tired. I would like to nap, but the more I sleep the more my body aches. Damn. 

Thursday, January 8, 2009

the road less traveled.

Today was a very good day. Started out with my morning run. I did not get to running til about eleven this morning. I had to drag my lazy ass out of bed. I promise, one of these days i will have my run through by ten! After my run, I fixed myself a bowl of cereal and proceeded to see what was happening on the Internets. I find it kind of sad how I must periodically check the inter web. If I was with out the web for a week, I might go insane. That fact depresses me. Well, what is a modern girl to do? Oh well, I'll shrug it off.

I spent the majority of my day surfing the web and what not. Did some cleaning, if you can call it that. Feed Bartholomew, listened to Bright Eyes, and waited around for Willem to call me. We had made plans to go visit this lovely little trail that a friend had told me about. I managed to keep myself busy.

When Willem arrived, we hopped into my car and made our way over to the little trail. We walked all over that beautiful place. Saw some lovely sights that I did not see my first time there. I will have to take my Polaroid there to capture on of the sights, a peace sign on the ground made of rocks. I had a grand time with Willem. He is absolutely wonderful. And that trail was perfect. Such a lovely place to share with my dear friend!

All in all, today was definitely a marvelous day! I feel that today I took the road less traveled. Seeing the beautiful in the "ordinary," finding meaning in the simple, and treasuring the little things in life. 

Wednesday, January 7, 2009


"Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love
Listen to the music of the moment, maybe sing with me all our peaceful melody
It's our God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love love."

- Jason Mraz

These lyrics are in my heart and are moving my soul. Love. I truly believe Love is the strongest force in the universe. Love moves people. Love holds all relationships together. Without Love there is no peace. Without Love there is no happiness. There is so much pain, death and heartache in this world. All because so many people have forsaken love.

Love has been linked with weakness. People have begun to believe, if you love then you are weak and worthless. Power is based on hatred and cruelty. There are so few people in leadership that truly Love. Love that is for their neighbor, for the sick, for the needy, for the abandoned. It is so easy to love a person that promises you riches and power. However, for most it is difficult to love the one who can not give you anything but love in return.

When I see someone that truly Loves for the sake of only being loved in return, it brings me to the verge of tears. Knowing that real love exists somewhere in this world gives me the strength to make it through one more day.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

new year's resolutions.

A Quick Update: Bartholomew, my beloved hamster, is home! He was found around 5:00 p.m. I am overjoyed by his return. He is safe, though a tad bit dirty from being under our refrigerator. I am very glad to see him in his cage and playing on his wheel once again.

Well, as promised, here are my New Year's Resolutions. I have chosen eighteen goals for myself since I am eighteen years old. This idea was given to me by my friend, Emilee.

Tesia's New Year's Resolutions:
1) Eat healthier.
2) Gradually become vegetarian (key word, "gradually" heh heh)
3) Run at least twice a week.
4) Write letters to my friends.
5) Start learning Japanese.
6) Practice my photography more frequently.
7) Enroll at ACC. (Austin Community College)
8) Read at least two new books a month.
9) Post on my blog at least twice a week.
10) Write in my personal journal at least once a week.
11) Live on a prayer!
12) Do volunteer work.
13) Read my Bible at least five times a week.
14) Do NOT over eat.
15) Set a good example for my younger cousins.
16) Be the best friend I can be.
17) Learn to cook well. (got to start practicing for when I am married! heh)
18) MOVE OUT! (Indeed.)

There they are. I know many of these will be hard for me to keep, however, I will do my best to keep them. 

Again, I wish you all a Happy New Year!

Friday, January 2, 2009

new year.

Well it's a whole new year. At the moment, I do not feel much like writing. My dear hamster, Bartholomew, is missing. Last night he escaped his cage. Now he is loose in the house. I can not find him anywhere. I think he might be asleep somewhere. I pray that he is safe.

Later, when I feel a little better about this ordeal, I will write a much more informant post. I still have not written my New Year's Resolutions. This will be the first year I make some, and I do plan on trying my hardest to keep them. I do believe this will be a grand challenge for myself. Once I have written them down, I will post them here. My reason for this is to have some sort of "accountability." Even if no one reads them, even if no one really cares about what I am doing, knowing that I have posted them here for the world to see will help me have the drive to accomplish them.

People of the world, I do hope that all of  you had a safe and happy New Year. Also, I pray that you all will have wonderful adventures, learn from your mistakes, live on a prayer, and keep your resolutions.